It's been hard but it's hard for all of us...

I’ve been meaning to write a blog post for a couple of weeks now, but the state of the world took over my life and the constant worry and uncertainty became the main focus of my existence.

I knew it was bad and it was getting worse, but until last week I didn’t realize just how bad. And how much all this will change everything. Our lives, our world.

I’ve been working from home since March 11 and in lockdown since March 16 I believe. My husband and daughter are home too and we’re pretty much staying inside and in our backyard all the time, only going out for a walk once a day in remote areas to get some air and stretch our legs.

I used to think all I’d need was a bit of time to write more, to read more…and now I’m finding myself with all this time on my hands (although I continue to work full-time from home it still saves me the 4h of commute daily) and I’m incapable of doing anything productive.

I sit in front of my laptop sometimes for an hour, if not more…trying to write. Staring at the screen, lost in thought. Worrying. What if, when, why…Telling myself I should use this time, I should…I should…but I don’t.

Our families are far away from us (thousands of miles away) and it’s just us three here. It’s hard. But I know it’s hard for all of us. It’s harder for our parents who are in their sixties and seventies and more susceptible to COVID. It’s hard for people in Europe (Italy, France…ugh, my heart aches for all of them), it’s hard everywhere around the world.

This might take a while. Initially, they were talking about 3 weeks in the Bay Area, but I think we all know it will be longer. Months I assume. I can’t do this for months. I can’t do the whole worrying, not sleeping (because I barely get 4 hours of sleep now), checking the news every 2 minutes, and being in my head 100% of the time.

Yes, everything that’s happening in the world is horrible and scary and painful and nothing I ever thought I’d live through, but I’m comforted by the thought that we’re all in this together. We’re all isolating so we can help. We’re all doing our part in stopping this. So we can flatten the curve and make this less of a disaster. We’re doing this for our parents and grandparents and all the people we care about. And for the strangers whose lives have been brutally upended by all this. We’re doing it for the medical staff who risk their lives every day, for all the people who still have to work so that we can live.

So I’ve decided to try harder. Really really try.

To be less sad, less ‘down’. To try and just focus on taking each day at a time. Be grateful for what we have, for the fact that we’re together, for the fact that we get to stay home; Be thankful our parents are safe and although cooked up in their houses, we get to see them on skype and talk to them. As for us, we’re planning lots of board games and reading and watching movies and series, walking and discovering our area —never seemed to have much time for that before—, and for me…putting some words on paper (or on-screen?:) ) Even if it’s 200 every day. Or 500 if I’ll be particularly lucky.

To celebrate every victory, no matter how small. It’s so easy to get caught up in this whirlwind of bad news…but there are also good things happening. It’s spring now and the weather is better, the sun shines more, Littler Fires Everywhere is on Hulu and I plan on watching it, I’ve bought a bunch of books and. will continue buying books (whether ebooks or hardcovers and have them delivered), I have a book coming up in less than two months, people are reading it and loving it. Every time I see a reader has posted a review of Someday in Paris, or someone messages me to tell me they’re adding it to their TBR pile and that it sounds amazing, or they’re just about to start reading it or that they just pre-ordered it…that’s wonderful and worth celebrating. Isn’t it? And it makes me smile.

I hope you too find reasons to smile during these uncertain times (even if they’re small reasons) and you are kind to yourself. That’s very important!

Let’s all take it one day at a time.

We’ll get through this!

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Until next time!

Keep Believing in Magic and in Good Things and Stay Safe and Healthy,

Olivia Lara